My Life as a Pikachu

Strep! Yay, well whatever I wont be in school for 2 days.

LOVE

493253!

Been sick, and it's gay I feel like crap in the daytime so all I've been doing is sleeping during the day and staying up all night, not healthy! So I have bags under my eyes and when I go outside my eyes burn.
Oh and my phone has been dead as well, so I'm sure to most of you it is as though I have fallen off the earth, but alas no. I hope I will be better soon and be able hang out with all my friends, god I'm a loser!:)
Oh and Dayna I hope that I was not a burden to you and your family for the short stint that I crashed at your house, but I have come to the realization that I need to stay put at my moms. She can be a real pain but I think it's easiest for all. I think you will agree, besides I don't want you to get tired of me so yeah. Just thought I should let everyone know whats up and that I'm alive, not well b/c I'm sick but for sure alive!

So this weekend started out brilliantly, listening to a voice that has echoed in my mind since the 9th grade, the wonderful Conor Oberst and his string cortet and hid playful drummers dressed all in white and his sweet faced pianist and his miracle guitar man and his spunky violinist Anton. Swaying back and forth with a crowd in a trance of sweet sweet music. Seeing smiling faces, kissing lips, and eyes in awe of brilliant lyrics and accidental rhyming words. Clapping till my hands were sore, screaming till my throat was raw, laughing till my cheeks burned with happiness, licking my lips till they chapped and it hurt to smile. All in euphoric glee.
THAT’S how it started.

Towards the middle was where the glee ended, my sister and I got into a huge fight. A screaming match if you will. She kicked me out bare foot and in the rain I slept in a gutter to keep warm. “No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter Sometimes that’s just the most comfortable place.” Tears streamed down my face, I wept till their was nothing left. My feet burned from the asphalt and blistered with pain. I was hiding from a world I didn’t want to see. The word “crips” was tag on the wall of the gutter, it swirled, and blurred, with all the salt water draining from my swollen eyes . Water danced into the gutter drain, black, it slowly crept it’s way over to me to say “Hello” and dampened my toes cooling the burning and taking away some of the pain. It thundered and I shuttered. I thought awful thoughts alone in the dark. Just as the thoughts started to cloud my mind the rain cleared. Leaving the empty field I began to walk through sparkling with water diamonds. Iridescent light seeping through the trees. I found and old tattered butterfly to keep me company. She danced clumsily on my fingers, tired from the rain she had flitted through. She looked me dead in the eyes and wished my well as she danced into the air, and landed on a nearby flower. I wished her well. Walking in a lucid world of dreams I hated remembering the hateful things we said to each other, I hated myself. I still do. I said I didn’t care about my sister or her baby, now she might be miscarrying. I fear it’s all my fault. It is ALL MY FAULT!

Yeah!!

Awww

Muse=Gods of Rock!

Things nowadays are beginning to much resemble the life I never wanted. My job sucks, my home life definently exceeds in the sucking department, and still no boyfriend to boot. I have managed to procrastinate on all my school work and now have to find a way out of school tomorrow. I have all these plans for the future and absolutely no way of accomplishing them. I wish I was done with high school! Also writers block....I could go on and on about how spring break ways but their's really no point in that is their? No I see none, so now I'm going to lie awake in a bed not my own and try to actually accomplish something sleep. Aww yes one of the one things I have never failed at.
She falls restlessly onto a bed dead leaves, a poisoned slumber from an apple one might call life. When will her awakening come and life begin?

Any one with a spare room?

Lonely, hmm I think we take the word for granted. Dropping it here and there. Letting it spill from ones mouth like word vomit. Yet as fate might have it, it's what I am. I feel I'm in a lacking state, trapped in the routine of my life.

Hey Baby
it's cold I'm shivering form the dewy ice that has collected on my lips
an oxymoron I suppose ice is frozen cold
my eyes have begun to glaze over and my blood runs a bit cooler
 so what’s the deal with living these days?  since I'm dieing trough and trough, living is just over rated, not that I want to die I'm just tired of this dull routine
Losing myself in my dewy pain, lying to every one in vain
my white blood cells are attacking these new feelings disoriented with melancholy loses
Floating away in my cold silvery galaxy watch the beautiful stars fly by
If only I could fly
Tired of living this shitty lie
How long will this rant go on.....
Till right about now when I'm tired of writing and living a

lie….